Today I went to the hospital to visit my great grandmother. I was told she didn't have much time. Before visiting her I was all "oh, I'm going to the hospital today cause my great grandmother is about to kick the bucket" and I know it's really cold of me to say something like that but the truth is, I never talked to her before and I only ever see her once a year (CNY). So she's like an acquaintance rather than a family member to me. Yeah so I was being all cold and "I don't really care" attitude.
But upon arriving at the hospital... I saw her on the bed and my heart literally sunk. It was the first time I had such a feeling. She was nothing but skin and bones, hee left eye socket sunk in for she didn't have an eyeball there, she practically gasped every breathe she took as if each breathe hurt her. I heard she just had her uterus removed cause there was some growth at her ovaries that could spread and cause harm.. So it was a major operation and I can see that it still hurt from the way she couldn't lie down properly... All in all, these actually caused me to tear up. But I didn't cry cause it would be strange. Stillllllll, this was very unexpected especially since I didn't really care about it a minute ago...
I didn't think of the usual "what will I be like if it was actually someone I cared more about" cause I did that sort of stuff before. I want to help her, I want to save her, I want to convert her! But I just didn't have the guys to speak up. I'm such a weakling when it comes to this kind of thing......
